Welcome to my blog! I have never been fond of posting my personal thoughts for others to read. It always seems to come back and bite me in the ass. But what the heck life is short. I manage to piss my daughter off frequently and as long as I am honest and true to myself that is all I can strive for.
As I am typing this I am getting ready to head home this weekend for my mother's memorial. She passed away July 19th but I wanted to make sure that our entire family would be able to attend her service. I haven't designed the service to mourn her death but to celebrate her life. Mostly because I couldn't give her the support that I would have given to anyone else.
Looking at her family (brothers and sisters) and the way they dealt with my grandfathers death a couple years ago disgusted my brother and I and we agreed that her death would be treated with the dignity and respect that any person could want.
I was a teenager when my mom was diagnosed with mental illness. It seemed like the exact diagnosis changed quite often. The Dr's also couldn't agree on whether or not it was hereditary. Teenagers have enough issues without worrying about whether they are going to have a psychotic breakdown.
What I will be looking at during my research is the effects of chronic illness on family dynamics. In my family it tore everyone apart from my Grandparent's marriage to my Parent's marriage, to my fear of committing myself to any one person and my fear of ever letting my mother have a true relationship with her own granddaughter. There is more behind that last part but that is for later.
When I found out that my mother was terminal in July it actually took my daughter to remind me that I needed to forgive my mother for the things her illness caused her to do. Let's see if she can ever do that herself in the future.
Anyway enough for now I am off to the Land of Nod.
I like this artcle .
ReplyDeletehtpp://alfrhnsby.blogspot.com