Even with the thought that no one will be truly reading this page (except those in my Eng102 group). I actually find that I want to post my thoughts and reflections. I have tried keeping journals or diaries in the past and I find that after about a month or so I just have this desire to get rid of the evidence. This usually involves fire and burnt paper.
My mom's memorial was this last weekend and it actually made me realize that there are members of my family that I loathe. My sister who didn't even bother showing up. Which was truly a good thing since her children who are all living with different family members want nothing to do with her. My aunt who every time I approached her during the service went the other way. For now let's just say that she said some words while my mother was dying and the only reason I didn't slap her face was because of my brother's feelings for her. My uncle who I can't decide if he is just a moron or if he feels that he is the only person that can be right. I refused to talk to him after he said the he hadn't told me something that he had. After that I sent my "demand" in writing.
I feel the worst for my grandmother. That same aunt that I wanted to slap turned all of her children, and nieces and nephews away from her with lies and half truths. Yes my grandmother divorced my grandfather (Papa) (this was after my mom's mental illness was diagnosed, I did mention that it can tear families apart.) Yes, the old lady started seeing her old boyfriend (I guess they were engaged before she married Papa). No she didn't "steal" all his money. Yes she kicked my aunt out of the house that Gma got in the divorce. Since the aunt wouldn't pay her rent I would have done the same thing. I also wouldn't take it upon myself to paint the house I was renting from somebody or tear out the fireplace and replace it with a wood stove, not without at least getting written permission.
Of course this is the same aunt that sent panicked letters out to everyone in the family (including those that were still young children) telling them that Papa was destitute and couldn't afford to replace his water heater...From what I hear that pissed him off because it was more like he was looking for a good deal on one rather than that he couldn't afford one.
Besides out of everything that happened or didn't happen if Papa could forgive her then it shouldn't have mattered to anyone else.
One more little rant... I absolutely hate the song "Wind beneath my wings". You are basically telling someone that you are much better than they could ever be but then trying to soften it by saying I wouldn't be the person I am without your support. I love Bette Midler though and all the rest of her songs including "Otis titsling"
Anyway now that I have Bette playing in the background I have Chemistry homework to get to.
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